The Wife Material Prerequisites: A Reality or a Fallacy?

The Wife Material Prerequisites: A Reality or a Fallacy?

Photo Credit: Vicki Larson's OMG Chronicles

By Judah Kolawole

 

To begin with, the foundations of the trending ‘wife material’ prerequisites can be traced back to the African culture and the social studies education that is being taught in primary schools. These existing foundations have assigned roles to husbands, wives and children. These roles are perhaps one of the major reasons many African parents see children as a property they can control and shape into whatever they desire without the consideration of the wants and needs of the children. The concept of wife material prerequisites has become a common topic among many Nigerians especially the men. The expectation is that the 21st century ladies are to act and think just like their mothers and the mothers of their mothers and the mothers before the mothers of their mothers had acted and thought.

 

It is no surprise that such prerequisites still exists. The African soil in which they stand is deep rooted with the culture of how the husband is superior to the wife and how the wife is subjected to the will of the husband. To add, the Western religions adopted also support the superiority of the husband and the submission of the wife. Little wonder why some men would defend their superiority and demand that the woman they will call their wife must fit into the ‘wife material’ prerequisites. The fact that many living African mothers vigorously back the prerequisites up is no strange thing. There has been series of reported cases of mothers rejecting their sons’ lovers on the basis of lack of ‘proper’ home training and failing the ‘wife material’ conditions.

 

Truly, we are Africans and our culture is our identity. Without our identity we would be lost. However, the world is evolving and change is an inevitable phenomenon. A modern human should be open to change. It is undeniable that the influence of the Western culture on the African society is strong. New ways of doing things are discovered, new cultures and policies are flushed down the African society. Consequently, the new culture is being adopted to every part of the human society. The introduction of white garment weddings and court weddings have also been adopted. It however seems that Africans think they can adopt the western wedding styles and escape the interference of the western marriage in their African marriages. It is not a news that about a century ago, a man can batter his wife on a regular and still be made chief. But with the adoption of the western culture in our present day, a man that batters his wife would face imprisonment or penalty if charged to court.

 

Without further diversion from our ‘wife material’ prerequisites topic, the old prerequisites have been considered extreme and outdated by many African women and some men. This claim is nothing but a fair point. With the adoption of the western culture comes a must in the change of the prerequisites of a ‘wife material’. The African culture demands that the husband provides for the family while the wife live in the kitchen and take care of the children. This culture has however changed drastically over the last two decades as some wives are now the breadwinner of their family. In fact, nowadays, many African men would prefer to marry a working woman than a jobless one. Culture is a way of life of people and to adopt a culture is to adopt the way of life of that culture.

 

It is hypocritical and unmodern if the ‘wife material’ prerequisites ideology of the old ways remains. With the equal rights adopted from the western culture, it will remain controversial for the old prerequisites to stand. It is however important to note that this piece is not against the African culture, rather a means of appealing for a modification to balance the African culture with the Western culture. If the wife can share financial duties with her husband, the husband should also be compelled to share domestic duties with his wife. Humans in general love to take changes that will benefit them and refuse to accept changes that will inconvenience them; this is the case of many Africans on this trending topic. 

 

To conclude, the topic of wife material prerequisites would continue to be a debate between the culture embedded Africans who do not want to leave their comfort zones and the Africans who are seeking a balance between the African culture and the adopted western culture. To avoid stories that touches, young men and ladies would be better off planning their future with partners who share their same ideologies than partners who would try to force them into accepting their ideologies.